In the span of 2 days I saw 2 gentlemen. In one there was a very good connection and in the other there was a bad connection and we had to end the date. I am writing this blog post in the hopes that you can learn from these situations and have a better connection with an escort and avoid the mistakes this guy made
Bad connections and good connections happen to all escorts and clients. Luckily in 99.999% of all my dates there is a good connection, but in some of them we just don’t click and it is a bad connection. There is nothing that can be done in most cases with a bad connection because this is life and you are not always going to connect with a lady and vice versa. I have been on many dates (non-escort) where there was no chemistry and ones where we had amazing chemistry.
With the bad connection there was definitely a reason why from the get go I did not connect with this gentleman. I want to share this experience with all of you so you can learn from this situation.
Here is an email I wrote to him after the date ended
Hey Jack
Sorry about the way things turned out and I think I might use this whole situation in a new blog post ( I will not put your name in of course) because I think other guys need a refresher course on how to deal with an escort so there is a good connection from the get go.
First off Jack, You have to understand our biggest fear is that you are a cop (runner up is you are a rapist, killer, psycho or stalker) and this is the major reason we need to verify you thru past providers or work. We do not know you from adam when we first meet you. I mean half the time we do not even know what you look like and yet you have seen our websites, reviews, pics, videos, etc and so you know soooo much more about us than we know about you.
Our guard is up until we know you and know we can trust you. It does not matter if we have verified you because there are loopholes in the whole verification process. Case is point: there was a story I read about a guy who had been verified and after the escorts date ended, he tasered her and stole back the donation and took her purse. There are other similar stories out there – such as guys who are whitelisted on TER when in fact they have never seen the escorts and the list goes on. So verification is limited in it’s scope and has a lot of loopholes that can be bypassed and you can still wind up seeing Ted Bundy and getting killed. No escort wants to be arrested or lose her life on a date so we have to be extra cautious about who we are seeing. When you cross boundaries with us, we either chose to end the date, not see you or our guard is up until we know you are safe.
I hope it does not sound like I am lecturing you, but I want to give you a rundown of what happened tonight so you can better understand this whole situation and avoid it in the future. My website not only entertains and makes you laugh, but it is also for learning and teaching. I myself love to learn from others mistakes so that I don’t repeat them.
Jack, this whole bad connection began when you started texting me about the donation (most every guy will see an escorts donation on their website before even contacting them to see if they can even afford her so it is very unusual for a man to ask me about my rates). Not only did you ask about the donation, but then you also started talking about sex in the same texting messages.
This made me feel very uncomfortable because I state very clearly in the donation page (well if you had gone there you would have seen it lol) that talking about sex and money will cause me to immediately terminate our conversation. I should have ended my conversation with you but I did not. In the future any man who does this I will end either the date and/or the conversation.
I can’t emphasize this enough. Please do NOT bring up sex and money either on the date or when you correspond with us. It makes us ladies feel super uncomfortable when you talk about these 2 things for many reasons and many of us will end the date. This does not apply to men who want to extend the date with us. That is different. But saying, “oh hey I will give you an extra $300 to do greek,” vs “I’d like to extend the date for another hour, how much is the donation?” is totally different because in one instance you are buying a sexual act (totally illegal) and in the other one you are not. So please watch what you are saying and doing with all ladies. Please don’t cross our boundaries and you will be fine
Jack, even though I told you not to talk to me about sex and money, you still continued to do it when you texted me and asked about where the nearest atm was and that you needed to stop to get money before coming to me. At this point in time I am starting to be very suspicious of who you are and I am considering you are a cop and this is a set up. Not only is my guard definitely up now, but I am also seriously considering calling off the date even though you were on the way.
When you walked thru my front door I don’t know, but I immediately felt uneasy about you for some reason. In fact it happened the minute I opened up the door. I felt this sense of unease about you and I did not feel relaxed and comfortable around you like I do other clients. It could have been because I really felt you could be a cop or a killer Because my feeling of unease about you was very high. I have never had this feeling before so I don’t know what or who you were, but my 6th sense is very high in this job and I have learned to trust it and tune into it. Not only was my guard was very high for some reason but so was my fight or flight response which of course did not make me feel relaxed around you. Plus I had just gotten done with the gym and so was still pumped up.
You also for some reason did not seem relaxed so I don’t know if you were picking up on my energy or if you were up to no good but there was not a good energy about you for some reason. Maybe work stress or something else was affecting you that I was sensing because I am very sensitive to energy and the minute I opened the front door I did not have a good feeling about you.
When I invited you into the bedroom to get comfortable, you start pacing and acting weird and then immediately remove your pants and underwear. I am thinking, “ok I am not a hooker so why is he getting undressed immediately. Few guys do this because they want to sit and chat for a moment and get to know me so we can get comfortable with each other, but not you. Again, it made me feel very uncomfortable because that is what a cop would do. Then when you refused to remove your shirt. I am definitely thinking “ok I think this guy is wired” I have never had a guy refuse to remove his shirt and that is super weird. I mean even you have to admit it. The reason I was rubbing your chest and hesitating doing anything intimate is because I was trying to figure out whether or not to end the date since something was not clicking and I really thought you were a cop. Luckily, you must have sensed my hesitation when you also ended the date due to a bad connection. At least our timing was good because right before you ended the date, I was going end it but you spoke up first
I am sorry we did not click but at least now you know where I was coming from. Since I did not know if you were a cop or a killer or what you were, it really caused me to be totally on guard and not at all focused on connecting with you. The weird thing is even when you were leaving and we were chatting for a bit, I could still feel my heart racing and I was still in fight or flight mode.
In the future it is always best to be discrete and not talk about sex and money with any escort. I am sorry we did not connect and we could have had a wonderful time but the whole cop thing got in the way and ruined things. My guard was up and so was my fight or flight reflex and it did not allow me to relax. You and I learned a big lesson. What I learned is to end the date immediately (even if someone is on the way or we are on a date) if someone brings up sex and money and just cut my losses and move on. All escorts clearly state on their website that they will end the date and/or conversation immediately if you start discussing sex and money in the same conversation.
Women have a 6th sense for a reason. We are a lot less powerful than you physically and even though I work out on heavy weights at the gym, I am not sure if I could overpower a man or not. I don’t know because I have never been in a situation in this lifetime where I had to defend myself against a man. When you come to our incall or we come to you, we are alone and certainly do not have bodyguards to protect us. I also do not pack a gun or even mace and so we are trusting that you are a gentleman and will treat us right. When our 6th sense and/or fight or flight gets activated, there is a reason for it. We are somehow sensing on a different level your intention. Animals have this 6th sense as well and can sense the energy of the person.
A friend of mine was going to go on a date and when her date arrived, her usually friendly cat all of a sudden started hissing and growling at her date. She immediately ended the date since she knew that when animals do not like someone they are sensing the energy of the person. Animals love me and many times I have been to peoples homes where their cat or dog will be really friendly to me and not leave the room. The owner many times will exclaim “wow you know my cat/dog always barks or leaves the room whenever a stranger enters the room. He must really like you”
I don’t know what this mans intention was: maybe he really was a cop or a killer and lost his nerve but there was a reason why my intuition was heightened and even my fight or flight and my sense of unease about him. I am glad the date ended because I was too uncomfortable to have a good connection with this guy and who knows what would have happened if the date went on longer. I don’t know and I don’t want to find out lol.
Another example of a bad connection you can have with an escort is someone you don’t get to know and/or communicate thoroughly with prior to seeing her and/or during the date. If you have seen my review on TER written by matthewgp – it is not the stellar 10 10 review I usually always receive. It is a bad low rated review that is also filled with lies and accusations (such as telling readers I am making up reviews and sending them in under false usernames lol – yeah right. I have better things to do with my time than to make up fake reviews).
This man complained in the review that I chatted too much when he wanted to get right down to business. Ok here is my take on this. First of all, this man should have booked a PSE session with me vs a GFE. For those of you not familiar with these terms let me go into a little detail so you understand it better: PSE means porn star experience (I used to be in porn so happy to oblige with this should you want it) GFE means girlfriend experience.
PSE sessions are pretty much heavy duty from the beginning and involve anal, cumming in mouth/on face/on body, dirty talk, extreme deepthroating (like what I do), etc. But in PSE sessions there is NO intimacy. Meaning there is NO kissing, talking, cuddling, stroking. In otherwards I don’t care how lonely you are – I just want you to fuck me and I just want to suck your dick and we are not intimate at all. It is strictly fucking, sucking and making both parties cum. Do you see intimacy in porn? No of course not. They all get right down to business and the guy cums multiple times and so does the woman but there is no tenderness or intimacy.
The Porn Star experience is the ultimate dirty slut experience. She loves being used and abused, she has a dirty mouth, and she doesn’t care about how lonely you feel. She just wants to fuck.
The Girlfriend experience embodies the combination of intimacy and nurturing that lonelier men might need. It’s the essential companionship.
So that is the difference between the 2 types of sessions. I do offer both PSE or GFE sessions but many escorts only offer GFE and do NOT offer PSE at all because they don’t like anal (I love it!) or they can’t deepthroat, don’t like cum in mouth, facials, etc. So usually it is former porn stars like myself or other ladies who can do these things that offer this type of session along with GFE. Btw: on TER if a girl is rated 10 10 it means she does everything and I always get 10 10 ratings – so be sure to also look for that if you are kinky and/or looking for PSE experience.
So back to what I was saying. This man did not book the right session with me and he also did not communicate during the date that he wanted the conversation to end. Here is how you get a woman that is chatting too much to shut up and fuck you lol. You either start taking off your clothes or you politely let her know you really enjoy chatting with her but would like to get more intimate. She will get the hint immediately and you will get what you want. If however you keep chatting with her then she just assumes you are happy with chatting and she will continue to do it.
This guy had driven 2 hrs to see me so I was in no hurry to rush him out of my apt after the 2 hrs was up. I wanted to take my time even if it meant going over the time so that he would have a peaceful unrushed satisfying visit and keep coming back.
In the review he was also pissed that I could not deepthroat his cock and swallow his balls. I did deepthroat him and lick his balls, but no I did not swallow his balls. I have repeatedly stated on my website I don’t swallow hairy balls and I prefer manscaping be done below and this guy did not do that. He was very hairy down below (he even had hair on his dick) and so it was very difficult to deepthroat because I like a groomed dick area to do my best work and give 100%. I can still deepthroat even if a guy is hairy but I definitely don’t do as good of a job as I do when manscaping has happened. When I was in porn, no guy would ever think to show up on set with a hairy dick and balls lol. He would have to leave and go shave immediately. In porn when you do deepthroating, all that hair is gross and does not make for an aesthetically pleasing scene – just like a hairy pussy does not do if for most people.
In hindsight had this guy booked me for a PSE session and/or let me know during the date he wanted to stop chatting and had he groomed down below, he would have been much happier with the session. Be sure to always communicate well with any escort and you will be happier with the end results. We are only human and cannot read your mind lol
Compare the above visits to the great connection I had the day before:
With this gentleman I had a good feeling from the beginning. We kept in touch via email before the date and had some fun conversations. I did tease him in the emails (btw sometimes I can’t always do this if I am really busy). When he came to see me he was running a little late. I don’t normally dock a man time if he is running late because it happens to all of us. I told him to take his time and when he arrived he seemed relaxed and at ease but a little nervous, which is to be expected. He had a good vibe and I had a good feeling about him.
We retired to the bedroom and both of us were having fun chatting and sharing ideas and so forth. He is very sensual like me and we layed next to each other stroking each other bodies which felt really good and super relaxing. He told me about this workshop he had gone to called, “orgasmic meditation.” It is designed for women and here is a you tube video about it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-86ZJvBBnNU
It sounded like fun and so I asked him to try it on me and I had an amazing orgasm lol. Ok I am not going to go into the rest of the details of this date since that is private. But the main thing is we had a wonderful time and great connection.
The moral of both of these stories is: sometimes there is just a bad connection and sometimes there is a bad connection because you did not follow the escorts rules of etiquette and the date was ended because of this.
I can’t emphasize this enough, please always read an escorts website and follow their rules to the T and you won’t have any problems. What is always amazing to me is when a guy asks me about my donation rates and has not taken the time to view it on the website. Lol I mean is this how you buy stuff online or at the store? You just put it in your shopping cart and then find out what it costs when you check out? I doubt that, so please know what a ladies rates are before contacting them so you do not need to ask them what the rate is. Again, some ladies will cut you off right there and will not answer your question about that.
